I found myself in an old lesson this weekend. I knew what to do, as I had been there before…but it was indeed SO hard to apply the rules of being thoughtful to others.
Being thoughtful to others – when they’re not thoughtful to you – is indeed challenging!
Again, I knew the rules, what to do and what would work. I could hear Dr. Wayne Dyer tell me, as he has done, “If someone doesn’t align with your soul, send them love and move along.” Yet, it’s the “send them love,” that can be hard to do when that person is saying judgmental comments about everyone at the gathering and to me – about me!
In the chance that you may have someone in your life who is so rude, that they even judge you to your face…here is my advice on how to still show your thoughtfulness to YOURSELF and that person all at the same time:
- The best response is a smile and then change of subject. You could end the encounter saying something like, “I need to be sure to say Hi to Jenny before I go, so take care.” This allows you to be polite exiting and "move along" from their comments.
- Don’t leave the party and immediately vent to your partner, as this gives the rude person power and is judging the person who judged you, which is bringing yourself down to their level. I made sure to get in the car and go to bed shortly when arriving home and it worked. I didn’t want to get “worked” up or give the event any more power by digressing with Greg. (Note: If you must chat to get it “out” be sure to wait until the next day when you’ve cooled off).
- Be aware that hurting people, hurt people. I truly believe (and this worked for me that night) taking a moment to realize that a complainer who judges others and you, is simply someone who feels they have to judge to feel better….because they are hurting. This realization allows me to forgive their actions and move on.
Dedicated to your thoughtful success,
Rhonda
